Some interstate driving basics

I have noticed from driving on the interstates the past few weeks that apparently some of you are not educated on how to drive on them, so I thought I would do my part to help and give you some pointers.

1.) The left most lane is referred to as the "fast lane" or "passing lane". This lane is there for people to pass in and then to get over to let others by. You will notice its not called
a.) hang out forever while putting along at 60 lane.
b.) lumber along in a semi while passing another semi that is lumbering along lane
c.) the putt putt lane while traffic stacks up behind you for a quarter mile lane. What the hell did you think those people behind you were, a parade?
d.) the dawdle along because I like driving in this lane alot lane.

2.) Slowing way down or even coming to a complete stop while entering the freeway (except when traffic on that freeway is slow or stopped) is a dumb idea. The point of a ramp to an interstate or expressway is to allow you to speed up to the speed of traffic while entering it. So if you stop or slow way down it is not only harder for you to get on, but also those behind you. Oh, and a reminder, the accelerator is what makes the car go faster, its the taller and slimmer pedal usually the petal that is the farthest to the right in the drivers side footwell.

3.) The whole point of an interstate is easier and more steady travel. Other than in rush hour, you should almost never have to hit the brake petal, unless because of those described above. If you feel the need to brake constantly, I would suggest side streets or even the little car ride at Worlds of Fun. Stay the hell off the interstate.

4.) If you are in the fast lane, and you notice either
a.) Traffic is stacked up behind you (not talking about rush hour here either) like you are
the grand marshall of your own parade, you either need to speed up or move to the right. If the shoulder is to the right, pull over and count to ten million and then start up again.
b.) Everyone is now using the lanes to right of you to pass, in other words, the whole traffic pattern on the interstate has changed becuase of you

then you need to go to the nearest DMV office and turn in your license. You are too damn dumb to be driving. Take the bus.

Hope that helps.